Perceptions

Perceptions

As a revolutionary, I am not supposed to believe in idealism.

So dreams, apparations and magic like those told in Harry Potter stories I just shrugged off.

But honestly,  I learned to appreciate the knowledge of the unknown. It is not idealism after all but the reality of metaphysics.

Metaphysics meaning some things that can happened but cannot be explained will have its explanations later. Meanwhile, in the absence of a proper term, and exact explanations , we can call it idealism, magic or mystery.

Being detached from the world  you have been used to really develop a gulf with your former reality and the present reality where you are in.

It is sad that we lived in the world where the perceptions of the majority must be the perception of the individual. If you do not with the flow, they will call you crazy.

One thing that I appreciate is that I do not have dreams lately.

Maybe for more than two years of so. That is why I am taken aback when things happened that I did not have any premonitions of or being surprised with such events. Usually, I dreamt about it even before it happens.

I found it good to be surprised with such events. Having a happy sleep is one luxury that I enjoy now. Because having dreams causes troubles for me. Meaning I have not been divorced with my old reality and my former life.

Still, I found it disturbing because once in a while I will have a very troubling dream. Dreams that do not give me any warning . Hazy and fuzzy  dreams that will make me so tired and dry after sleep.

Once, I was in a middle of a dream when my daughter came home. I did not try to wake up because I thought it was morning already and went back to my dreams but when I woke up it was still evening. It was then I learned that I fell asleep at four in the afternoon and she came home at around six in the evening.

Then I was fully awake and was not able to sleep again till the wee hours of the  morning.

I was surprised to find out that a close woman comrade of us died in the line of duty. That is why I had a very incoherent dream. That is why I was so disturbed in my sleep.

I cannot decide if I will be happy to regain that capability of mine to dream events that can forewarn me of some coming event. I thought I lost that sense of feeling two years ago.

I was wrong. Now I have to be ready for things to come.

In the other sense I am happy in the thought that I still live in the other reality deep in the struggles in my home front.

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